The Doughnut Arrangement
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Written for a challenge at LiveJournal.  Raj.  The Caltech Cafeteria.  A shirt.  A doughnut.  And an Easter Egg.  I really can't explain any more than that.


**Wrote this for BigBang_Land at LiveJournal. I was given a character, a location, and three random items and was told to write a 500-1000 word fic. Here was my information.**

**Your Character: Raj Koothrappali  
>Your Location: Caltech Cafeteria<br>Your Three items: Donut, Easter Egg, Shirt**

"Sheldon," Raj said, setting his tray of pasta, cranberries, and a doughnut down at their usual table, "is it true that your sister broke up with her boyfriend?"

"Why are you wearing your annoying music shirt to work?" Sheldon asked.

"It's not annoying." Raj knew that not many people shared his opinion, but all that meant is that there really _were_ a lot of stupid people around.

Sheldon cocked his head. "I'd disagree, but we've been down that road many a time."

"Fair enough," Raj said. "Let's talk about what _I_ was asking. Is it true that Missy's single?"

"It was especially rude for you to take pleasure in playing the Law and Order theme to mock the fact that I had to go to court for something that was Penny's fault."

"Dude," Raj said, "I thought we weren't talking about that."

Sheldon shrugged. "She hasn't texted me. Not after the last time."

It took Raj a minute to catch on to the fact that Sheldon had jumped to the topic that Raj actually wanted to discuss. "I'm _talking_ about the last time," Raj said. "Two months ago. After she had gone back home from visiting you and sent you the text that made Amy say that…"

"Rajesh," Sheldon said, "are you seriously reminding me of a conversation that I was a part of? This mind," he said, pointing to his brain, "does not forget."

Raj raised an eyebrow. "What about the time you forgot an abort key in the vengeance against Kripke."

"Missy's single! Missy's single!" Sheldon said hurriedly. "We can talk about that. No need to talk about Kripke."

Raj smiled. "Thank you. Will you help me woo her?"

"She's my sister," Sheldon said.

"So? Leonard dated mine."

"That's not my point," said Sheldon. "She's my sister; I'm not her pimp. She can date whoever she wants, although what she would see in you is baffling."

"She liked me," Raj said. "Please, Sheldon? She's pretty, and nice, and I haven't had a date in so long."

"Well," Sheldon said, "Easter is coming up, and she's into more of the modern day Easter stuff than our mother is…although a more accurate way of celebrating would be taking someone to witness a crucifixion the Friday before, I can tell you that Missy _would not _go for that. Give her…" he shrugged. "An Easter egg, I don't know."

Raj raised an eyebrow again. "An Easter Egg? That's the best you've got?"

"If it was me, I'd bow out of the festivities altogether," Sheldon said. "Or I'd go to the crucifixion. But Missy's not like me."

"I know," Raj said, smiling. "That's why I want to date her. So an Easter egg? I just buy her one of those plastic ones, or do I design an actual egg?"

"That'd never make it to Texas intact," Sheldon said. "Honestly, you do have _some _brain cells, don't you, Raj?"

"No abort key, Sheldon…"

"Here is an Easter Egg shell that she has just sent me," Sheldon said, suddenly agreeable again. "She sent me a dozen or so of them in the package that was delivered to my office, and it wasn't until I sat down here that I noticed that one had fallen out." He drew a blue – green plastic Easter Egg out of his bag and handed it to Raj. "She won't know it's one of mine."

Raj opened it. "It's empty."

"Oh yes," Sheldon said. "I ate the Milk Duds."

"She gave you an apologetic candy?"

"Whether it was intentional or not, yes. I am choosing to believe she's apologizing for letting me know of her split with that retail salesman. She knows good and well I don't care."

Raj picked up the doughnut and broke off a piece. "Well I…"

"Please don't chew with your mouth full," Sheldon said.

Raj nodded an apology, swallowing and wiping the stray powdered sugar from his lips before speaking. "Well I appreciate you giving me…this…I guess." He turned it over in his hands, wondering what these two thin pieces of plastic would help him accomplish. "Do you think me sending this to her will make her want to date me?"

"I have no idea," Sheldon said. "But considering your track record it is probably a very lame idea."

"Maybe I'll show up," Raj said. "Come to her door and say 'sorry about your split with the retail salesman, have a Happy Easter!' and hand her the egg."

"An empty egg?" Sheldon asked. "Tradition holds that the Easter Eggs are filled with candies, marshmallows, or other sweet things."

Raj looked at the egg, and back down to his tray. Picking up the doughnut, he broke a piece off and mashed it inside. Then, he picked up his tray, placed it on the shelf, and danced out of the cafeteria blasting "I'm So Excited."

A moment later he ran back in and stood in front of Sheldon. "If this is a Bazinga, Sheldon Lee Cooper, then I will see to it that you are a banana slug in your next life, I swear to Cow."

**Hope you liked it! **


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